25 August 2010

Bonsoiree

I am having dinner tonight at Bonsoiree. To be quite honest, it fills me with a bit of nervousness. For years I have wanted to join the DAR's but due to my lack of initiative, I have not. I suppose what has held me back is the fact that my parents were not married. I realize that times have changed, and that it is more socially acceptable. But I still come from a childhood filled with the word Bastard being used for it's original meaning against me. It was quite a stigma growing up, not to mention the double whammy of my mother being a lesbian. I have feared rejection of the organization that my grandfather and great-grandfather were affiliated with, the SAR's.

Membership into this organization is a big deal for me. I have loved my family's history. I have spent my adult life doing research on branches that have trailed off. I have been able to piece together my German ancestry to Illinois with the first birth of our German ancestors here when the state was only 21 years old.

I am meeting one of the ladies of the DAR's that I have developed a friendship with over the years. My fear is that of rejection into a society that my beloved Grandfather was a member of for 30 years. We are humble people with a minor history in this country, but to me it is as long and true as any Jefferson or Washington.

I know it sounds posh. It does have a posh factor. But that is not the reason for wanting this. It is for the family history. My Grandfather always told me that "You are born with only your name. It is your job to keep that name with honor and respect."

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