Well, it's Christmas Eve, dinner is cooking, husband is working around the house, boy is reading in his room and me, I am trying to stay awake. The meds not only get me dizzy but make me sleep, constantly. I am so tired of being tired. I feel as if I do so little and when I do it is not good enough.
2 whole weeks off are going to be a much needed break. My biggest fear is that I may not be able to go back to that place. It feels like when I worked at Jewel 20 years ago. Just sitting, staring at the clock, and unable to move to go to work. I don't want to be that way but is is getting so had with all of the insanity I have seen in the past few days.
1-Last Wednesday, 2 students tried to throw a girl out of my classroom window.
2-Last Thursday, I get dizzy and almost pass out during class. Head punding, vision blurry.
3-Last Saturday-I go to the Doctor and was almost admitted to the hospital for 205/130 blood pressure due to stress.
3-Last Saturday-Was given blood pressure med and stress meds.
4-All last week-Meds make me dizzy and sleepy all of the time.
5-Monday-Was informed that one of my best new students was killed at a park while playing basketball. Wrong place at the wrong time.
6-Tuesday-20+ students jump on one student in the cafeteria. 6 squad cars, lock down, and several arrests later 6th and 7th period was to continue though all classes were filled with caged tigers.
After all of that in less than a 7 day span, I am so freaking tired it is not even funny. I just hope I can physically drag myself back on the 8th.
Last year during the Christmas break the computer lab was broken into and all of the pc's in the school were stolen. That is all I need to go back to, a repeat of last year. Teaching computer class will be futile if that is the case.
So now, as the evening winds down and Goddess of the Nevermind is expected, a smile will be painted, tree already trimmed and swallow back the saddness for civilization that I have.
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