A New Year

Sister was in town for 5 days. This was the one pic that we took during that time together. Spent New Years Day taking her to Clark Street and Belmont to see the sites. It was a whole Yin and Yang thing in the Alley. She was into the incense and holistic stuff, I was and still am a Headbanger. Adored seeing the Sex Pistols lunch box. Almost bought it for the boy but knew he'd get in trouble at the religious school for it.

3 more days till work begins again. Just hope the blood pressure can maintain. It's been alright so far. That is after 6 different meds. They'll probably change it tomorrow at my appointment.

I sure have missed my fellow faculty members. We all needed a break from the school but it will feel nice to be part of a team again.

A Quiet Moment

My pc caught a virus and I have been off line for the past week and a half. It took all of that time to move files, reformat the hard drive, and re-install the operating system. Finally the old girl is up and running. Still missing some drivers for audio but I can live with that.

On top of that I have had a visitor for the past 4 days I have had a visitor, my sister from Virginia. We spent New Years Eve in the hospital. She is fine but when it comes to health you can never take chances.

I am trying so hard to get back to some sense of normal here. She is leaving tomorrow morning so at least the boy will get his bed back. I know it's hard having guests. She'd offered to sleep on the couch but she sleeps late and it puts everything on hold.

Good news is, after trying 6 different medications from the doctor and increasing the dosage several times, my blood pressure was 128/85 last night. It felt pretty good to have it look normal. Now if I can keep it that way I'll be in pretty good shape.

I was looking over my Goals list for 2006 and am happy to say that out of the 25 things I had on the list I completed 9. I wish it could have been more. I'm still torn if I should count #1 on my list. Find a job I love. See, I love teaching but I do not have a job I love. I love my students but I have no benefits, the salary is very low compared with public schools, and the hours of time in the building are longer than required by public schools. I already get to work at 7 am but they require you to stay till 3 everyday. So, does it count if I love what I do but not where I do it?

My biggest success from the list was creating a savings box. I made a box with a small slit in it and sealed it. I vowed to put in a dollar a day for the whole year of 2006. I would also throw in pocket change and an extra dollar or 2 every once and a while. I finally opened the box yesterday and was amazed that I had over $600 in the box! It was so hard not to open it for the whole year but I was sure glad I didn't. I am so proud of myself. Of course the tellers at the bank today will not be so happy to see me walk in today, especially with $12 worth of pennies.

2006 was not a great year but it sure could have been a hell of a lot worse.

Christmas Eve....

Well, it's Christmas Eve, dinner is cooking, husband is working around the house, boy is reading in his room and me, I am trying to stay awake. The meds not only get me dizzy but make me sleep, constantly. I am so tired of being tired. I feel as if I do so little and when I do it is not good enough.

2 whole weeks off are going to be a much needed break. My biggest fear is that I may not be able to go back to that place. It feels like when I worked at Jewel 20 years ago. Just sitting, staring at the clock, and unable to move to go to work. I don't want to be that way but is is getting so had with all of the insanity I have seen in the past few days.

1-Last Wednesday, 2 students tried to throw a girl out of my classroom window.

2-Last Thursday, I get dizzy and almost pass out during class. Head punding, vision blurry.

3-Last Saturday-I go to the Doctor and was almost admitted to the hospital for 205/130 blood pressure due to stress.

3-Last Saturday-Was given blood pressure med and stress meds.

4-All last week-Meds make me dizzy and sleepy all of the time.

5-Monday-Was informed that one of my best new students was killed at a park while playing basketball. Wrong place at the wrong time.

6-Tuesday-20+ students jump on one student in the cafeteria. 6 squad cars, lock down, and several arrests later 6th and 7th period was to continue though all classes were filled with caged tigers.

After all of that in less than a 7 day span, I am so freaking tired it is not even funny. I just hope I can physically drag myself back on the 8th.

Last year during the Christmas break the computer lab was broken into and all of the pc's in the school were stolen. That is all I need to go back to, a repeat of last year. Teaching computer class will be futile if that is the case.

So now, as the evening winds down and Goddess of the Nevermind is expected, a smile will be painted, tree already trimmed and swallow back the saddness for civilization that I have.

The Spirit of Christmas

I have a love hate with this cartoon. Sometimes they are hysterical and other times too boring for words.

This sums up X-Mas.

Reality In The Inner City

This morning when I got to school I was informed that one of my new students was killed. This boy was a quiet kid. Within the 2 weeks he was in my class he made up all of the quarters work and with excellent handwriting too. This poor 17 year old kid was playing basketball int the park on the westside when he and 2 other kids he was playing with were shot. He was the only one that was killed. I was numb. I know things like this happen and I know it is an inner city reality but the sense of loss is so great because this kid wanted to succeed in the Alternative School System. He stayed away from the gangbangers and trouble makers and still this young life was cut short.

As a Teacher I mourn but have no idea the sense of loss his Mother is feeling.If anything happened to my son like that I would want to die with him. So much sadness in the inner city.

Teaching Globally

I was fortunate enough to become friends with a fellow Teacher in Germany. In the past year since we began talking and comparing educational systems of Germany and the U.S. it has made me so sad for the youth of America. My friend also teaches on the secondary level but the content levels are so vastly different. November was Holocaust Awareness Month and I decided to collect one page biographies of Children of the Holocaust for the students to read and begin QAR (Question-Answer-Relationship) on. I asked my friend to give me insight from a modern German's perspective, one that I could share with my classes. He is a Philosophy and Ethics Teacher. The material was wonderful but I knew would not be comprehended. When I sent a sample of what we were working on he was shocked. The reading and comprehension levels were that of what he would provide to 5Th graders. It was very disheartening to know that the students who need the most get the least.

Of my school, I have so many wonderful students who want to learn and grow. It breaks my heart to see the discouragement due to the behavior of a handful. Why must there be such a difference in education across the world?

My cousin spend 6 months with his fiancee (in photo) traveling through South and Central America teaching in small villages. They experienced what few of us have the opportunity to do, a selfless act.

My fellow Teacher is coming to the States on an exchange program for a few weeks in the spring. I am frightened to have him attend a day in the classroom with me. After listening to the wonderful projects and activities he has his classes work with. I am afraid my students would chew him up and spit him out. If the field trip to the Holocaust museum is any indicator. They managed to ask the most inappropriate questions to a young German man who was presenting a film. Questions like, "Were your family Nazi's?" "Why do you talk so funny?" "Are you a Nazi?" This poor young man managed to complete his presentation and walk away. I do not want them to do this to my friend but the boundaries are not set for these kids. They feel they can ask anything. Which can be a blessing and a curse.

O.B.G.

I have been labeled an OBG by a few of my students. When I asked what and OBG was to another student I was told it is a title of respect, like calling someone your Momma. OBG stands for Oldie But Goodie. I have to say it feels pretty good as a teacher to know you affect your student's lives.

My favorite thing I hear my students say about me is "Ms. B is MY Teacher". It may be a rough high school that I am in but once you earn the respect of your students they are loyal to you.

Some days can have such a positive feel to them. Today made me feel pretty damn good.