Food Pantries and Link Cards

On a scale of 1 to 10 for days of humbling and defeat, today is a 100. This morning I had to get to the LINK office to have my interview for food stamps. After waiting in line for 2 hours I was told they would have to reschedule me. During my wait the woman standing next to me struck up a conversation. Come to find out she was also a displaced teacher. It was surreal to me to be standing in line for a hand out and discussing the impact of the film Schindler's List. Another woman stood beside us and began talking to us. She was an elderly lady who lived with her recently disabled son in Wrigleyville. She began explaining all of the different programs available out there. She mentioned a Food Pantry in Sheridan Park. I left the office in Wicker Park feeling horrible. I was ashamed and coming to full grips of what my situation truly is.

After stopping home I went to the Food Pantry. I waited there for two hours. While waiting I ran into the lady that suggested the pantry to me. It was like running into an acquaintance on the street while window shopping. As I sat there I became more and more despondent. How did my life end up this way? I am an educated woman who had a normal life doing a job she loved, teaching. Now I am the one collecting unemployment and food pantry items. At 41, this is not suppose to be my life. I weathered being a single mother of a new born going to school, working full time and never having a hand out. Now that I have the education, certification, and experience I should be at LEAST in the same place that I was when my son was born. I officially drained all that was once my savings to make my car payment today. I haven't paid my student loan for 2 months. I am sinking so fast I cannot take a breath. 

The kicker is, CPS announced today that they will be paying bonuses to teachers that have brought up their students test scores in as they call them "hard to staff" school. What is a hard to staff school? One that has 98% of the student body that is low income. That is exactly what I was doing for the past 4 years teaching. This past year I raised the percentile points of my class by 12, which is HUGE. 

Why oh why did I ever want to teach? I am in such horrible shape because of it. I had a job prior to teaching that I liked. I wanted to follow a dream which has become the biggest nightmare of my life.

It's funny, when you are on a downward spiral people scatter. I guess I understand. Who wants to be around a person who is in a constant state of depression and anxiousness? People have their own problems and lives to deal with. All I know is that I was once an educator who cared about her students and their lives. I was always the one who was there with packages of instant noodles for my high school kids when I knew they wouldn't have food at home. I can't tell how many times I have given my own lunch to my students when they were hungry. That's just what you do. Now it is me who is close to homelessness. I have never been as terrified as I am right now.

Too bad I can't have my own charity. That would be nice. I am always giving a dollar at the grocery store check out for some charity or another. It would sure be nice to have a charity of "Save the Displaced Teacher from Homelessness"  that Dominicks or Jewel collects for.