Then there was 1

Ever since I was born there have been 2 constants in my life, Chris and Charley. Chris and Charley are my uncles but more like brothers. Chris was 3 years older than I and Charley is 1 year older than I. My beloved Chris died 10 years ago on June 6th. Today I called Charley to make sure he had the invite to the kids 8th grade graduation party. Charley gave me the hardest pill to swallow.

It seems that he was diagnosed with a non-curable genetic disease that effects your mind. He is going to die. As soon as he told me this I thought he was joking. As we talked I knew he was not. The tears began to flow. I spent most of today crying and in bed.

My childhood was rocky to say the very least. My mother moved us every year. through the insanity that is her life, moving, the cult she had me in, my one refuge was to see Chris and Charley every day. Sure they were typical evil boys but they were my evil protectors. I always felt safe with them around. I did not have friends growing up. I was not allowed to have non-JW friends and the JW kids didn't play with me because my mother had me out of wedlock and she was gay. Chris and Charley were my brothers and best friends all rolled up into one.

As the years passed we grew apart but always had a bond. Chris was the one most like me. Charley was the good one with a big heart. When I look at the kid sometimes I can see glimpses of Chris and Charley in him. I mentioned this to Charley but Charley told me he sees Chris.

My heart is breaking. I will be the only one left. My poor Grandmother. She will have lost both of her youngest children while she is still living. She is strong but the death of Chris almost killed her. I have no idea how she will get through the death of Charley. I am so selfish to think of my own pain but I will now be truely alone. Both of my brothers gone.

The tears keep flowing, the lump in my throat keeps getting bigger. Why does life have to be so cruel?