The Great Depression of the 2010's musings part 7-Another Casualty

One of the hardest things in this life is a death of a relationship. It can be a marriage, friendship, or family member. Not a death in the literal sense of someone dying but in the sense of someone who was so integral to your life drifting, fading and eventually leaving your life. The pain of that loss is somehow worse because you know they are out there, living, having fun and don't even give you a passing thought. That is the worst pain to feel, knowing you are less than a blip on someones radar. I have been feeling a loss coming on for some time now. It hurts so much because this is the one person who has been there through thick and thin with me for the past 28 years. Now they have finally outgrown our friendship. I guess I should be thankful for those 28 years, and I am. I just feel so gut wretchedly sad that I have been outgrown and my purpose outdated. 

I have not said anything. What is there to be said? During this darkest chapter in my life I have been alone. By that I do not mean that my husband  has not been here. He is the one I have been taking care of and nursing back to health. I am talking about a true friend that knows you better than anyone else. Someone who has always been there through the happiness and sorrow. Now the sorrow is all mine to bare. The funny thing is, they are so happy with their new life, friends, relationships, that you cannot wish ill will. That would be selfish and mean spirited. I shall just cry alone.

The Great Depression of the 2010's musings part 6-Last Call

When my beloved Chris committed suicide 14.5 years ago I was plagued repeatedly with questions like "What could I have done differently? What could I have said? What could I have asked? What could I have given?" I think of this because of the importance of listening to someone when they are hurting. If you don't act or actually listen to the person when they are here it will haunt you for the rest of your life. I will be haunted for the rest of my life for things I should have never said to him, things I should have said and my absorption with my own life that I did not see his slipping away.

If someone tells you, actually tells you, that they are at the end of their rope and are in dire circumstances and you have the power to help, don't put it off for your own self absorption. I did that and I lost one of the closest people in my life. It is so easy to have fun and take the easy way. It is much harder to actually look at the face of the person you care about suffering and asking for help, either directly or indirectly, and choosing to flit away your time and energies on self indulgence and pleasure, it will later haunt you when that person is either no longer living or  living on the streets.

The Economic Bill of Rights by FDR circa 1944

Excerpt from President Roosevelt's January 11, 1944 message to the Congress of the United States on the State of the Union:

“

It is our duty now to begin to lay the plans and determine the strategy for the winning of a lasting peace and the establishment of an American standard of living higher than ever before known. We cannot be content, no matter how high that general standard of living may be, if some fraction of our people—whether it be one-third or one-fifth or one-tenth—is ill-fed, ill-clothed, ill-housed, and insecure. This Republic had its beginning, and grew to its present strength, under the protection of certain inalienable political rights—among them the right of free speech, free press, free worship, trial by jury, freedom from unreasonable searches and seizures. They were our rights to life and liberty. As our nation has grown in size and stature, however—as our industrial economy expanded—these political rights proved inadequate to assure us equality in the pursuit of happiness. We have come to a clear realization of the fact that true individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. “Necessitous men are not free men.”[2] People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made. In our day these economic truths have become accepted as self-evident. We have accepted, so to speak, a second Bill of Rights under which a new basis of security and prosperity can be established for all—regardless of station, race, or creed. Among these are: The right to a useful and remunerative job in the industries or shops or farms or mines of the nation; The right to earn enough to provide adequate food and clothing and recreation; The right of every farmer to raise and sell his products at a return which will give him and his family a decent living; The right of every businessman, large and small, to trade in an atmosphere of freedom from unfair competition and domination by monopolies at home or abroad; The right of every family to a decent home; The right to adequate medical care and the opportunity to achieve and enjoy good health; The right to adequate protection from the economic fears of old age, sickness, accident, and unemployment; The right to a good education. All of these rights spell security. And after this war is won we must be prepared to move forward, in the implementation of these rights, to new goals of human happiness and well-being. America's own rightful place in the world depends in large part upon how fully these and similar rights have been carried into practice for all our citizens. For unless there is security here at home there cannot be lasting peace in the world.

The Great Depression of the 2010's musings part 5-Occupy Wall Street, Hand-Outs, and Freebies

I am so amazed by the argument I hear from dear friends of mine that accuse protesters of being slackers, wanting hand-outs, wanting freebies. Especially when these friends are union members in the public sector doing heroic work everyday. Let me just say, the protesters are not asking for freebies, just their future being sold out to bail out corporations and banks. 

Below is an example of expectations and freebies:

You take a job a for $20 an hour. The union that covers your area of work has negotiated health care premiums that only cost you $50 a month. This union also negotiated a cost of living increase every year for you as well as a 4% raise every year. You have accepted the job for $20 an hour. When the pay increases come in, do you accept them for doing what you committed to do, your job? Or do you consider it getting something for free? To me it sounds like, based on the logic I have been told about the protesters, that the person working should be happy to make that $20 an hour because that is what they agreed to. Taking anything over that $20 an hour is getting something for free. 

It is all ridiculous. Of course people should get raises. They should also thank their unions that those raises have been fought for and won. I hate to see good people whom I care for and love be so mislead by the talking heads that have big business to answer to and promote instead of the truth and the citizens of this great country.

This country was founded on protest. Our founding fathers encouraged it. How can good American people allow themselves to be led like sheep to the slaughter by corporate greed?

The Great Depression of the 2010's musings part 4-The 99% Occupy Wall Street Movement

It still blows my mind when people don't get the 99% movement. So many people seem to think it is about getting a hand out (like the banks were given in the form of our, your children's, and grand-children's tax dollars and future). The 99% movement is about being given the opportunity to provide for yourself and family. As long as American jobs are sent to other countries for a few more profit points then more and more Americans will be unemployed, dying from lack of medical care (which all other industrialized nations have figured out, a healthy population is a productive one with universal health care), homelessness. What will it take for people to wake up and see it is not just a "bunch of whiners on their iPhones and laptops" but a desperate American population that wants to survive and see this country great again, for all. Maybe a repeat of the soup lines in the 30's will be the wake up.

Social stratification is real. The circumstances people were born into DO factor into how this recession will be  ridden out. Some people are lucky enough to have a place to call home, family that will help when needed, offer a roof or food. There are so many others that do not have that security net. For those people, it can be depressing, hopeless, and bleak. I try never to pass judgement on people. Much less on a large group of people. I wish other would stop passing judgement on the 99%ers. True there are some rabble rousers in the crowd. When is there not "one apple spoiling the whole bunch"? But to paint your fellow Americans, vets, patriots and citizenry as a detriment to society is not the way. We are all the 99%. Unfortunately others take advantage of those bound in a lower cast. Read up on the real reason for this movement, starting with the discipline of Social Stratification. When I was at university I minored in Sociology and it really opened my eyes to how we as a citizenry got to this point. To be honest, I am surprised it took this long.

To Smoke or Not to Smoke

I quit smoking on May 11th of 2011. It was a difficult thing to do but it was time. I had been smoking since the age of 14. That was 27 years of smoking under my belt. It was time to quit. I used Nicorette lozenges for 9 weeks and was done. Since going off of the lozenges over two months ago, I have not been able to stop eating. Even when I am so full that I am sick I still feel this emptiness inside. Nothing seems to fill it.

This past week has been extremely difficult and trying. All I think about all day and night long is the pure joy of a cigarette. I really don't want to go back to smoking but the only fulfillment I can have is with a cigarette. Yesterday I decided to use lozenges for awhile until this stress goes away. I have to say, the second that nicotine hit my system, life seemed worth living again, for awhile. I know it is weak but I'd rather do this than pick up a cigarette. It took all I had to break the psychological oral fixation of smoking. I do not want to go back. But this demon nicotine is the one thing that keeps me from going over the edge.

The Great Depression of the 2010's musings part 3-Medicaid, Medicare, Disability, and Unemployment for the under 50 crowd

I have had one of the worst days in quite sometime. I was informed early this afternoon that because our son turned 18 we were no longer eligible for Medicaid. My son will have Medicaid until his 19th birthday but my husband and I are SOL. Here are the life events that happened last year:

June 2010-Laid off as a Teacher
July-November 2010-Paying full price for medications. Husbands pain meds for diabetic neropathy was at $200 a month for the one med.
October 2010-Husband suffers a Bell's Palsy episode. Taken to County (No CAT-Scan was done)
October-November 2010-Pay full office visit price for eye specialist (4 times)
November 2010 (Sunday after Thanksgiving)-Husband has a stroke
November 2010-December 2010(2 Days before Christmas)-Husband hospitalized. Loses mobility and function on entire left side.
January 2011-(2 weeks after release and stayed for a week)-Husband re-admitted to hospital because of blood clots in leg. Put on blood thinners for the rest of his life.

Flash forward to today. My husband was approved for Disability at age 49. He is still slowly recovering. He needs physical and occupational therapy twice a week and to visit the coumidin clinic for his blood thinner levels once a month. Not to mention the 16 medications he is on.


Social Security told me he is not eligible for Medicare until 24 months after he was approved for Disability. That means we have to wait until November 29th of 2012 before he can have medical benefits. EVERYTHING will be out of pocket. 


How can they honestly think that Disability and Unemployment make for rolling in the cash? They do not take into consideration that rent takes almost half of all of the money that comes into the house. We have NOTHING and yet they don't even want my husband to have a chance to live? We cannot afford 16 medications. Some of them will be covered under the Walgreen or Walmart plans of $4 meds but there are so many he will no longer be able to take because of what? 

I have been loosing it after every call. My eyes are so big and puffy. I have no idea what we are going to do. We have no one to help. I have never felt so alone in my life.