24 September 2011

Complaints spike over debt collectors - Chicago Sun-Times

Complaints spike over debt collectors - Chicago Sun-Times

I have thought this for years. There is nothing more frustrating than being out with a friend and the little chirp goes off. Immediately they check their text and respond. This happens throughout the visit. Nothing can make you feel less important than someones cell phone. I hate my cell phone and only use it when needed and out. I text maybe 5 messages a months as opposed to the average in my age bracket, 30-50 messages a month. PC's are so much different because it is an activity you do alone for the most part. You do not invite your friends over and sit at your PC answering e-mails.

22 September 2011

Civility in American Society

In the mornings, while I am still unemployed, I drive my son to University. It is one of the very small things that I can do. This child has had to go from lower middle class to object poverty at a crucial time in his life. We were never at a financial point where we could take vacations but all of the bills were paid. He takes it all with good humor and grace. It doesn't bother him that I purchase all of his clothing at the thrift shops or food from food pantries. So the very least I can do is give him a ride to University.

This morning I drove my son to University. In front of the building I drop him off at is handicap parking. The entire length of the building is handicap parking, as it should be. This morning when I arrived, the entire handicap parking area what vacant. I pulled into an area in between two handicap spots to allow for cars to park in the handicap spots. The area in between the parking spots are as big as a parking spot itself. While dropping my son off I was finishing the update on his father's medical condition and medications. This type of talk can be so very depressing.

As we were just about ready to say our good-byes, a car pulled up beside us and honked. The woman in the car had her window down and I rolled mine down. Perhaps she needed to know how to get to an area on campus. Or was lost. Having spent 11 years working at this campus as well as being an alumni I would be in a position to help with locations. As I rolled the window down she began to yell. Below is the "conversation"

Woman: "This is a handicap parking area" 
Me: "I am not parking here. I am just dropping off my son" 
Woman: "This is a handicap parking area" (Her voice is raising and she is yelling and becoming confrontational. I am the type of person who does not like yelling or confrontation. I prefer for things to be handled calmly.)
Me: "I understand that. I am just dropping off my son and I am leaving" (Remember, the entire handicap parking area is vacant around the entire front of the building. Having a husband who is disabled, I would never deprive a disabled person from a spot and would be irritated if someone parked in the only remaining spot reserved for someone who needed it. But the parking lot was vacant, spots galore. 
Woman: "You can't park here. This is for disabled people. Don't you know about disabled parking?"
Me: "My husband is disabled ma'am. I know about disabled people. I am just dropping my son of and then I am leaving". My husband refused to get the disabled license, plates, or sticker. He said that as long as he could walk with his cane, there were people who needed those spots more than him. That is the mindset of our home. I would never put any type of hardship on a disabled person. I know that living with the disability is difficult enough.
Woman: (screaming with a little spittle coming out of her mouth) "YOU CAN'T PARK HERE"
Me: "Why are you speaking to me this way?"
Woman: "Because I am irritated!!!"
Me: "I am done speaking to you" At this point I rolled up my window. She continued to shout as the window went up. I was gobsmacked. 

I did not know how to comprehend what had taken place. I was in an entirely vacant parking area and yet I was yelled at. I am a very compassionate and caring person. I have given my seat up on the bus for the elderly, male or female, while others sat and did nothing. I hold doors, speak respectfully to all. Especially to children. The main reason being, children learn by example. I have had excellent results in the classroom and out in public, just by speaking nicely and respectfully to all. Even during this exchange, my voice never raised, as hers not only raised but became vicious and abusive. I maintained a calm response to her ranting. 

As I left, I wondered what type of morning this woman had. She must have had a horrible morning and was itching for a fight. I am never the person to engage in a quarrel because I handle it calmly. That can cause people to get so angry, calm people. What a sad life if you feel the need to engage a stranger in a yelling match. My life is pretty sad but I would never take it out on someone else. It isn't a civilized behavior. Civility is what is needed in times like these, and often lacking.


The only conclusion I have to this situation and others like this is, you never know what is happening in the lives of others. Hurting others because you are hurt, irritating others because you are irritated is mean, selfish and childish and has no place in society.

17 September 2011

The Great Depression of the 2010's musings part 1

I sat staring at my shoes yesterday when my husband and I were on the way home from Osco Pharmacy. We had just purchased the one medication not covered under medicaid (yet the only neuropathy medication that relieves the pain for my husband). The cost was $172.99. This is the second month in a row we have had to pay that amount for medication. Feeling not so great I stared at my shoes and laughed to myself.

The shoes wore are the ones I wear everyday, my New Balance. I love these shoes and need to wear sneakers with as much running around as I do. This particular pair saw it's day about a year ago. Both shoes on the left sides have holes in them. The holes are so large you can see my socks. I know it is going to be horrible in the winter. Now most people would tell you, just buy a new pair of shoes. That's the part that makes me laugh. The people I know would have no concept of what true poverty means. The shoes are a symbol of my life. Sure there can be a quick fix, like maybe a new pair of sneakers, or my mother paying my electric bill that was past due for 6 months, but those are no real solution. There will still be another bill or prescription that does not have the funds to pay it.

When I didn't have money in the past to pay for something I would wait to the following pay period to purchase it. There is no following pay period now. This is it. I do not think people get it. It is not just tightening the belt a little. Maybe skipping going out to the movies or dinner. It is the harsh reality that you do not have enough money after paying for needed medication to buy something at the store for meals for the week. Or be able to pay for transportation for your husband for the week to get to Doctor's appointments. And it won't be all better after payday, or you can take it out of savings or put it on the card. Those options have long since past.

This hopelessness/helplessness effects your entire life, for the rest of your life. There is no longer a sense of happiness, laughter and ease. That has been replaced by dread, fear, and tension. I do not know if this will ever go away. I have my doubts. I have read countless tales of the survivors of the Great Depression. Hell, my Great Grand Parents lost everything in the Great Depression and were changed for ever. People who love the old you. The one that was like them don't realize, you are not like them. You never will be again. The absolute best you can hope for is to find a job that pays at least half of what you were making as an educator, and keep your fingers crossed that there will be health benefits. If not that you make just below what Medicaid will allow for you to continue using Medicaid. The most important thing is not to think of what your life was and who you use to be. That person is long gone.

15 September 2011

On this day 21 years ago...

On this day, 21 years ago, I was sitting in the basement of my then fiances' parents house drinking a shot of tequila my ex's father poured for us, complete with worm. It was to celebrate his 21st Birthday. It was horrible and the taste stayed in my mouth for hours afterward. 

On this day, 21 years ago, I gave the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with a gold pocket watch (which he had wanted for years, a  box of cigarillos and a bottle of tequila. 

On this day, 21 years ago,my future was all laid out and planned. I was a year away from marriage (or so I thought) and the life of a wife of a Lutheran Minister or a Chicago Police Officer. Which ever career he chose.


On this day, 21 years ago, I had hopes, dreams and goals for a happy life. How did so many years pass?


Happy Birthday A.K.. I hope the life you chose still makes you happy.

11 September 2011

Detour from Raw Foods

I must say, though I was enjoying my journey with raw foods and will pick it back up. I first had to exercise a demon that has plagued me for 27 years, I quit smoking. It was quite difficult and I will be a smoker for the rest of my life, I will just be a smoker who chooses not to smoke.

Today makes 4 months since my last cigarette. I do so miss them. I know I can do without them but I loved them so.

Now I can begin to focus on raw foods and health. My husband has been improving everyday from his stoke. It has really boosted his confidence. 

The boy graduated from high school in June and began university in August. He is just getting the hang of university classes.

So much has happened in such a short time. It is amazing how much there is to say when you have not had a pc for 5 months. I have been using the ipod my husband was given for christmas by his brother and sister as my internet connection. My pc contracted a horrible virus and is unusable. All of my files and life are on the pc sitting at my feel. I have not felt like using this new/old pc of my husbands because my files are not on it and there are no programs of use. I do not even have Word on this thing.

I do hope to begin raw foods again. With me still looking for a job and my husband still recovering from the stroke, it has been difficult to even get to food pantries much less the grocery store for fresh veggies.

03 April 2011

The Journey of Raw Foods-Day 5

It has now been over 48 hours with no coffee. There is no withdrawal or cravings for it. My mind is completely blown. I still can't get over the fact that coffee is not a part of my daily life's blood.

My husband is not doing the juice fast or raw diet, which is fine. I went to my local Starbucks this morning to get my husband his coffee and ran into my usual barista. I have been talking to her about the raw foods journey I am on. When she saw me this morning she waived her arms in the air and exclaimed, "I'm doing it! After work today I am going to get a juicer and start a raw foods diet." She was so excited about trying a raw foods path. She said towards the end of our conversation, "I hope you don't mind, but I am following in your footsteps." 

I thought about this on the way home and it made me think of who is my inspiration for this journey, my younger cousin Betty. She has been vegan for years. She is an amazing young woman who is filled with passion for healthy living, strong, and a self-assured force of nature. She has always been this way, even when she was a small child. Here's to you, my inspiration, Betty.

01 April 2011

The Journey of Raw Foods-Day 3

As I begin day 3 of a raw foods lifestyle I find it is not as horrible as I thought it would be. I was always a total food craver. For the past two days I have been on a juice fast and though I have smelled some awesome foods, I think back to one of the video blogs I watched about smells. A woman RawDownUnder     posted on her blog about the smells of food. How the smells are better than actually eating the food. It was funny, last night my husband wanted a frozen pizza for dinner. I cooked it and it smelled and looked incredible. I inhaled the smell and it was wonderful. My stomach gurgled a little. But I was so good. I did not have even a taste. What I found myself wanting was to eat a banana. I know I have several more days on the juice fast so I stayed steady and had a glass of the fresh juice I made.

I still think of bad food occasionally. Yesterday evening I had to pick up prescriptions for my husband at the grocery store. It was amazing walking through a grocery store and only buying grapes and kiwi. I did not look at all of my previous trappings. I stayed focused and it felt great.

I have begun a picture a day to see the difference in me over the days. I want this to be a lifelong journey to healthy living. Once food is no longer a focal point in my life I can focus on everything else. 

As I enter day 3 I am  focused, goal driven and happy. I cannot wait for the toxins in my body to begin to leave. I drink a lot more water than I ever did. Before I relied on the water in my coffee to do the work of hydration. Fruits are wonderful. I cannot wait to be able to have smoothies. That is still five days away. I will get the greens in and my body will begin to heal from all of the years of damage I have done to it.