It's been a long time since I've had a minute to post. Thought you would like to see the new members of the clan.

Benni & Joon.

Benni is our puppy and Joon is our wonderful fluffy kitty.

It has really been great coming home to creatures that are always glad to see you.

Wish the classroom were more like that. I do have some great days but then, some days really suck too.

The huge plus about my current teaching position is, I will be in the documentary they have been filming this year about the arts in my school. Both of my school wide projects will be in it, with of course me too. The first project was coordinating a debate with 4-8 grades debating Civil Liberties for Social Studies/Language Arts night. It was the focus for the entire night. Currently we are working on a project I developed on the Colonies. Students will grow their own crops and create a virtual colony. I am pretty stoked. I've also attached a pic of the new school.

The Other Boleyn Girl-sigh

It really saddens the heart when facts don't seem to be as exciting as a "good movie". Though I have not read or watched the film I have a pretty good idea where the story is going. The issue I have with the retelling of actual events is that Anne was not in England for most of her upbringing. She was in the French Court, in France. She went back to England to marry Lord Percy.

Anne did not chase Henry VIII. Henry VIII chased her. That is, after denying her the right to marry Lord Percy. The first time he laid eyes on here was when Lord Percy and Anne were before him for his conscent to marry. Henry had already left Mary in the dust at this point, while she was pregnant. Henry was so crazy about Anne he wrote her poetry and a song we still know the melody of today. The original title is "Greensleves" (Henry wrote the lyrics and music). Today we know it as a Christmas Carol called "What Child Is This".

I will probably see it when it comes on cable and feel sad. I dedicated my academic focus on the Tudor Monarcy. Though my focus was between the years 1554-1558, I still am pretty familiar with the entire reign 1495-1603, up until Elizabeth I death and the passing of the throne to James I of Scotland.

It was the same thing when "Braveheart" came out. Sure, I saw it and liked a several scenes but it was not historically accurate. Just as I fear "The Other Boleyn Girl will be.

I stand corrected

The Art Teacher only teaches 2 art classes and 1 music class. The other day she asked if we could hire a part time music teacher so she would only have to teach 2 classes!

Usually when a teacher is out my school we have to give up our preps since there are no subs. Our math teacher was out on Friday. I refused to give up my only prep and told the lead teacher to give the classes to the 2 teachers who only have 3 classes and another who only has 4 classes to teach. Well, guess what? The other teachers gave up their preps to cover the classes because the assistant principal said she covered 2 classes. The poor thing couldn't cover the rest? We bust our asses and she gets to walk through the school without a care in the world. I am so pissed off.

My Week In The Classroom

Monday:

1st period two of my advanced U.s History students looked at me after I had just explained the difference between democracies, monarchies, and dictatorships, when they looked up at me and said, "Why are you teaching here? You are so smart." I replied, "Do you want people who don't know their subjects here teaching you?" They replied, "Yeah teachers know their subjects but you are too smart to be teaching here." How do you respond to that?

Tuesday-

One of my students told me, "You got me suspended for three days." I replied, "I got you suspended? Are you sure it was not for something you did yourself?" He replied. "You told me you were going to throw away the gang symbols I drew all over my paper but you turned them in. You tricked on me." My response was, "First off, I do trick. It's my job. Secondly, I warned you the first time about the gang drawing. Especially when you are using MY supplies. I told you as long as you threw it out and didn't use my supplies or paper I was fine. Instead you drew another one. THAT is the one I turned in."

Wednesday-

We have a new Art Teacher in the building. She just started Monday. To me, I feel she is stand-offish. She looks down her nose at people. Not just the students but to faculty as well. During 9th period I caught a student in the hallway (our Principal told us the day before under NO circumstances should he be allowed out of class). When I confronted him he first pulled on the Math Teachers door then began to open the Art Teachers door. Since it was her first week I did not want her to be hit with the wandering trouble makers.I stood in her doorway, blocking the student from entering her room and called to her. She was standing in the middle of the classroom. She was not lecturing, talking to a student or supervising work. I called her name 6 times before she looked up and said "Yes". In the time I was calling her, the students sitting around her kept looking at her with a bewildered expression, such as, why are you not answering your fellow teacher. My hide was chapped at that point with her.

Thursday-

As the Art Teacher was hired during mid-semester there were only 2 art and 2 music classes that were for the teacher to complete teaching. Meanwhile ALL of the Teachers (minus the one who teaches 2 career classes, 2 consumer ed classes, and has field work to secure jobs for our students) teach 8 classes a day including lunchroom duty and homeroom. This teacher teaches 2 classes in the morning and 2 in the afternoon, has NO homeroom, and has 6 periods free!!!!!!!!! The rest of us have ONE!!!!!! free period. This woman had the nerve to ask the Lead teacher today if we could hire a part-time Music teacher to take her Music classes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This would leave her with only 2 classes to teach and only in her subject area. ALL of the teachers have more than one subject matter to teach. On top of that she makes as much as I was initially offered for this year!!!!! It is 2K more than what we were offered at the beginning of last school year!!!!!!!!!!

Holy F@cking Sh$t!!!

I am still in shock as to what happened today after school. At about 2:50 (the time I am packing my things to leave) I hear a teacher yell for our Principal and start running down the hall towards the North Avenue exit (a super busy main street on the westside of the city). I run after to see if someone was hurt or if anyone needed help.

As soon as I made it out of the doors I saw our ENTIRE student body and some of their peeps from the block literally sprawled across North Avenue (Blocking all 4 lanes of traffic!) while at least 2 girls were fighting. I am not over stating when I say it was a street riot. The Principal, Assistant Principal, and Security were trying to pull people off of each other. The two warring girls were on opposite sides of the street while we tried to maintain peace and get our students to leave when a whole pack of students crossed the street and the brawl started again. All 4 lanes of traffic were stopped. Some of the students were leaning and punching while on the cars that had no where to go.

We called the police within a matter of minutes when the first brawl started. (Remember the time was 2:50) The second brawl stopped. We pulled some of the girls into the school who were fighting to try to stop the fighting. While those girls were inside another brawl started with friends of the girls. Again North Avenue was blocked. While the Principal and Assistant Principal were trying to break that up the girls pulled inside began fighting. We were pulling them off of each other. Meanwhile our entire student body and a bunch of peeps from the block are outside. By the time we got the fighting outside stopped it was 3:30. Still no police arrived.

I stayed outside to make sure the students getting on the bus really got on the bus and did not stay to fight some more. Once insde the school another fight broke out with the girls. We finally got them into seperate classrooms and the office. While they were in the classrooms they began calling their own people to come up to the school.

Our Principal went into each room. I am not sure what was said. The girls were still in the school. Not to be released until a parent came to get them. By now it was 4:00 and still no police. One of the girls mother's showed up with about 10 young men and came into the school. It looked like it was going to be set off again. We called the police AGAIN and waited. Finally we were able to get the boys to wait outside but the dammage was done. While the police finally came the boys had left to go down to Cicero Avenue (it is a HUGE intersection of North Avenue with 6 lanes.)

The police told us they would try to have a car by the school between 2:30 and 3:00 and told us they had to leave because a fight broke out on North and Cicero they had to stop. That fight was obviously an extension of what happened by our school.

I am still in utter shock that the police were called several times due to the magnitude of the brawls and it took from 2:50-4:05 till any police arrived at the school.

I would not be suprized if there was not a shooting in the area tonight. I am sure tomorrow will be just as bad if not deadly. I just had one of my favorite students return to school after he was shot at a party. 2 other people died that night but the bullet only went through his shoulder. He is 17 years old!

Been awhile

I know it's been awhile since my last blog. BVetween teaching summer school and getting rejected by CPS schools, I've been pretty crazy. I just wish it were easier to have a decent paying teaching position. When you are paid 15-20K below that of a starting teacher in a public school, it really sucks. And of course you do twice the work with no benefits. Why do I continue with this maddness you may ask? Because I LOVE teaching. I know what I was meant to do. Sure I get crazy and frustrated sometimes but it is still the right fit for me.Since I have low level learners I wanted to make US History sink in.

I decided to teach WWII to Present, as it is only 4 weeks. It was amazing how taken my students were with "The Pianist". They begged to watch it 3 TIMES! I know it was not to just watch a movie, we actually discussed it and the political and military situations surrounding it. It was such a raving success we used "Saving Private Ryan" for the American view of the war. It was wonderful being able to disuss the U-Boats and JFK being a commander on one. They watched the war in a new way, relating it to the war going on in Iraq. I really felt like I was getting through to them.That feeling is why I love teaching. We have good days and bad days.

As we moved to the 1950's I brought in sheets of slang words from the 50's and had them describe an average story of their own replacing their slang with 50's slang. They loved it. One student said he was going to bring some of the words back into style.These are young adults from a very poor urban area. Most of them have done jail time. To watch them enjoy learning (without realizing they are actually doing it) makes my heart burst. Will they ever memorize all of the President's of the United States? Problably not. But what they will have is some historical resarch skills and a firm grasp on the culture of the US, at least in the 1940's and 1950's.

Arrakis-3 years ago

I was looking for a paper I'd written about the Enola Gay, to share with my class next week. While searching I came across something I'd written almost three years ago. (I still cannot believe it has been three years)I do not even remember writing this. But for my dearest lost love, a tribute:

Arrakis

Waiting for the inevitable is always difficult. Oppression of a heavy heart while attempting to produce a seemingly productive day weighs me down as I ascend the steps to my third floor apartment. Today would be the day. The finality of a gut feeling that today would be the day.

For months the signs have been there. Life has a way of assisting in the blindness of what is nearest to your heart. I was fortunate enough to have enough distractions to overlook sickness and sorrow. Now as each step brings me closer to what I've been avoiding for the past four months, the soon to be emptiness of loss.

The key turned softly in the door. I dared not look in the corner of the kitchen. Rather, I deposited my bags and sweater beside my desk, turned on my pc to check the day's e-mail and thought of what may await me in the kitchen. With resignation I stood, and slowly entered the kitchen.

She was there, sleeping in the same corner she'd occupied for the past month. The towel that I'd covered her with this morning still draped over her. Lightly I touch her head and she raised it slowly. My dear sweet friend is slowly leaving me. I begin to feel the sting of tears that have continually fallen since the beginning of the end.

Almost twenty-one years with a friend seems to have gone by so quickly. I look at the face of a love and comfort in my life as she suffers and awaits her own passing. I lay down on the floor beside her, not knowing what more I can do. I pet and comfort her, hoping that she knows I am still here. That she is not alone.

Something was wrong with her, I knew it in May as summer approached. It started simply enough with calling her and her non-response. My husband reminded me that she was getting older and it was normal for hearing loss. She moved a bit slower but was still the beautiful girl I'd always known.

By July she began loosing her sight. Normally dainty and refined in movements, she had begun to bump into walls. I began tapping on the floor to get her attention for food and affection. The one thing I didn't want to do was completely handicap her by carrying her from one place to another.

She began spending all of her time on the rug on our son's floor. Only moving to eat, use her facilities and return to her area on the rug. Our son began covering her with a towel to keep her warm through the night. I felt as if it provided some comfort to her as an arm protectively holding her.

Distractions came easy for the month of August and into September as I began full-time student teaching while maintaining a reading class, volunteering at the park and raising a son. Each day brought new adventures, tales and life. As my life progressed hers deteriorated. A once proud and undefeatable defender of my youth slowly began her final stages into death.

September brought other tears to shed, as her back legs no longer supported her. Her days were confined to the kitchen close to her food and water. Every evening I would spend a few moments sitting beside her on the floor, crying for what I knew the outcome would be. Towards the end of the month she refused to eat and only drank if her head was held up to drink. My tears never seemed to dry. During the day I was "on" with a smile on my face and command in my voice. The end of the day was spent watching the listless form on the floor that resembled my dearest friend.

Often I would talk to her, letting her know I was there for her and it was okay for her to let go. I apologized for the pain she was going through and damned myself for not taking her in for a slight pinprick to end her pain. I don't know if she suffered for she rarely cried out. When she did cry I cried, put my arm around her and repeated that she was not alone.

Now as I lay here next to my dear friend I cry for the life that will not be shared with her. I cry for the loss our son will feel and most importantly for the void that will be left in our lives. She'd managed to survive an apartment fire twenty years ago, travel from one apartment to the next with me and finally across the country and back again, always beside me and always accepting.

My husband and son came home that night to find me still at my post, lying beside her. My husband spoke to our son, though he knew she was sick, the comprehension of what would be the end washed new tears down his cheeks. Our lovely son took my post for an hour or so. He'd drawn a beautiful picture for our fallen soul. As the night progressed I felt the need for solitude and reflection with her.

Alone in the kitchen I spoke to her of our life together. I spoke of how many wonderful memories were shared with one another. I whispered that it was okay to let go. She had a wonderful life. Over and over I kept repeating, "You are not alone". When her final breaths were upon her I laid my head close to her, looking into her eyes and held her paw in mine. I hurt from watching her take her last gasps yet did not want her to die alone. I stared into her eyes as her breaths became more and more infrequent until her last gasp. I held her eyes and knew the moment she passed. I sat up and sobbed, holding her close to me, knowing she was no longer there.