Stroke Victim at 49

27 December 2011

Daily Scripture: December 27, 2011-Genesis 7:2

There is a new blog of note: Daily Scripture. It is a daily verse for those scriptures often overlooked. All scriptures come directly though the Standard King James edition.

Daily Scripture: December 27, 2011-Genesis 7:2: "Take with you seven of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and two of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate" G...

13 December 2011

When the Wall Came a Tumbling Down.....

Does anyone else remember watching the Berlin wall coming down? Did you feel the history you were witnessing in your lifetime? I still remember watching it on the television with tears streaming down my youthful teenage eyes.

Winds of Change-Scorpions

06 December 2011

The Great Depression of the 2010's musings part 7-Another Casualty

One of the hardest things in this life is a death of a relationship. It can be a marriage, friendship, or family member. Not a death in the literal sense of someone dying but in the sense of someone who was so integral to your life drifting, fading and eventually leaving your life. The pain of that loss is somehow worse because you know they are out there, living, having fun and don't even give you a passing thought. That is the worst pain to feel, knowing you are less than a blip on someones radar. I have been feeling a loss coming on for some time now. It hurts so much because this is the one person who has been there through thick and thin with me for the past 28 years. Now they have finally outgrown our friendship. I guess I should be thankful for those 28 years, and I am. I just feel so gut wretchedly sad that I have been outgrown and my purpose outdated. 

I have not said anything. What is there to be said? During this darkest chapter in my life I have been alone. By that I do not mean that my husband  has not been here. He is the one I have been taking care of and nursing back to health. I am talking about a true friend that knows you better than anyone else. Someone who has always been there through the happiness and sorrow. Now the sorrow is all mine to bare. The funny thing is, they are so happy with their new life, friends, relationships, that you cannot wish ill will. That would be selfish and mean spirited. I shall just cry alone.

02 December 2011

The Great Depression of the 2010's musings part 6-Last Call

When my beloved Chris committed suicide 14.5 years ago I was plagued repeatedly with questions like "What could I have done differently? What could I have said? What could I have asked? What could I have given?" I think of this because of the importance of listening to someone when they are hurting. If you don't act or actually listen to the person when they are here it will haunt you for the rest of your life. I will be haunted for the rest of my life for things I should have never said to him, things I should have said and my absorption with my own life that I did not see his slipping away.

If someone tells you, actually tells you, that they are at the end of their rope and are in dire circumstances and you have the power to help, don't put it off for your own self absorption. I did that and I lost one of the closest people in my life. It is so easy to have fun and take the easy way. It is much harder to actually look at the face of the person you care about suffering and asking for help, either directly or indirectly, and choosing to flit away your time and energies on self indulgence and pleasure, it will later haunt you when that person is either no longer living or  living on the streets.